I really wish I visited this place more often.
Eyrie Origami
We're up too high,
staggering past clouds with arms in casts.
Hanging like portraits,
falling like artistic dreams.
And gravity just won't work fast enough.
We're rekindling,
in a maginifying glass with bloodshot eyes.
Blazing zephyrs,
melting soldiers.
Burning rubber in place of incense.
Inspiration?
Colours come to mind,
if only to blot out dark patches.
Paper folds in unison,
but my hands don't bend that way.
It's all too cryptic,
the wrong directions on arciform axis.
This could be design,
with crippled iridescence.
Artists with prosthetic visions.
Dreams?
Colours come to mind,
if only to blot out dark patches.
Paper folds in unison,
but my hands don't bend that way.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Wow. Amazingly good imagery. Where the hell you get your inspiration (and vocabulary) from, is a mystery to me.
I loved the stanza that repeats, especially
Paper folds in unison,
but my hands don't bend that way.
Those lines are awesome.
The fourth stanza was my least favorite, I think. I'm not sure why, I guess it just didn't seem to fit as well. It almost seemed a little whiny. But maybe I just don't get it. (And realize that I'm only saying this in comparison to the other stanzas, which were amazing.)
Burning rubber in place of incense.
is another line I like alot.
Overall I really liked this. The tone seems kind of dreamy and really pretty, and you have lovely images. The title is good too.
Cool imagery. I read it kind of fast but it's really neat. Good ideas. I like it. (By the way... origami rocks.
)